


X is for XXX

by Zeplerfer



Series: Alphabet Smut [14]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Pole Dancing, Porn reality show, Sexy Cowboy, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeplerfer/pseuds/Zeplerfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watching gorgeous men shimmy up and down poles in the nuddy was exactly Arthur's cup of tea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	X is for XXX

When the producers first approached Arthur about the idea of creating a reality show featuring a competition to find the world’s best male strippers and pole dancers, he had immediately signed on as a celebrity judge. How could he _not_? Sitting back and watching gorgeous men shimmy up and down poles in the nuddy was _exactly_ his cup of tea.

In fact, sometimes he sipped a cup from his judge’s seat, wetting his throat so that he could deliver his cutting comments with perfect acerbity. As much as he enjoyed the show, he had a reputation for sarcastic quips to maintain.

Arthur crossed his legs, taking care not to jostle the wires that connected his most sensitive organ to the giant X in front of his seat. There were three Xs, one for each judge, and they represented the only fair way to judge this sort of competition. He didn’t press a button to make the X light up. No, sir. The X only went off if he got hard. Given his impressive level of self-control, Arthur was a very demanding judge.

As the lights dimmed, Arthur turned his focus to the stage. Strong guitar riffs signaled the final act of the evening. Oh god, was that American country music?

When the final performer sauntered out onto the stage in a cowboy outfit, Arthur rolled his eyes. Sure, the young man was attractive, but he was also a walking cliché. Golden hair poked out from beneath a cowboy hat while an open leather vest showed off his sun-kissed skin and a strong muscular chest. Cowboy boots clacked against the stage. He even had a sheriff’s star plastered on the front of his briefs. The only piece that didn’t fit the ensemble were his red-frame glasses. The man flashed the audience a dazzling grin and tipped his hats to the judges while the announcer introduced him as “Wild Al.”

Arthur maintained his poker face, refusing to show even the slightest level of interest in such a hackneyed costume and corny stage name. His expression flickered a moment later when the young man turned slightly toward the pole, showing off his assless chaps. Perhaps the young performer did have a few redeeming features… those perfect ass cheeks looked as delectable as a sweet, ripe peach. Arthur wanted a bite. Feeling his mouth start to water, he fought to maintain control.

With a cheeky grin, Al began his striptease. He ripped off his vest, whirled it above his head, and flung it into the crowd while the audience went wild. Arthur couldn’t blame them. The man had gorgeous abs. One could get drunk on that six pack. Arthur could already feel his blood begin to rush in excitement.

 _Cold showers. Dead flowers. Greek politics._ Arthur focused on those sobering thoughts as the song grew louder, extolling the virtues of a cowboy casanova.

Kicking off his boots next, the young man strolled over to the pole at the center of the stage. His arm muscles bulged when he gripped the pole, one hand above his head, the other below. Using his impressive arm strength, Al lifted his legs until they were parallel to the floor. Giving the audience a cocky grin, he let go with his bottom hand and hung in the air just with the strength of one arm. It was remarkable. Arthur’s mind plunged immediately to the gutter. That sort of strength would be _amazing_ in the bedroom.

Arthur resisted the urge to slip his hand beneath the table.

The young man wrapped his legs around the pole and continued to climb. He paused half-way up and doffed his hat, letting his hair sparkle under the stage lights. Moving to the beat, he swung himself around the pole and then stretched his legs into the splits. Oh god. He was flexible. Ridiculously flexible.

The judge sitting next to Arthur gasped and her X flashed white. Gripping the pole between his strong legs, Al winked and blew her a kiss.

Still holding his hat in one hand, he slid down the pole like an experienced firefighter. When he reached the bottom, he rocked back and forth, humping the pole to the rhythm of the beat. The song was barely halfway over and Arthur was already half hard. Stupid, sexy cowboy!

Ratcheting up the tension, Al pressed against the pole and shimmied out of his chaps. He let the leather pool beneath his feet, leaving him in nothing but his briefs with the golden star bulging in the front.

The young man wiggled his ass, drawing wild cheers from the crowd. He certainly knew what appealed to the audience. And if Arthur was honest (which, fortunately, he wasn’t), he would admit that the performer knew his own tastes as well.

He couldn’t help it! Gentlemen preferred blonds.

With a wink, Al lowered the hat in front of him and pulled off his briefs with the other hand. He whirled the briefs around one finger and tossed them to the judges’ table, earning himself an X from the second judge. Arthur stared in rapt attention, hoping that Al would toss the hat to _him_.

But instead of letting go, the young performer tied a string around his hips, holding the hat in its cockblocking place when he lifted his hands and climbed back up the pole. There was no way the hat could stay in one spot as Al swung around, showing off his prodigious strength and flexibility. Yet, somehow, it _did_. It wasn’t fair!

Forgetting all his complaints about the corny costume, Arthur felt a swell of frustration. The song told the truth. The young man _was_ the devil in disguise.

As the song reached its climax, Al wrapped his legs around the pole again and bent backwards until his fingertips stretched to the floor. The hat finally, _finally_ gave up its struggle against gravity and tumbled to the floor. Forgetting about his reputation, Arthur gave up his own struggle against the inevitable and his X exploded with light.

It was hard to say what was brighter. The three gleaming X’s or the grin on Al’s face.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood. You can watch an APH America version here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK9zcoE7MyQ


End file.
